Year in Transition

I’ve been slacking lately on posting regularly, but I’ve returned on this gloriously rainy Labor Day. First things first, I had an interview this morning (3rd time of the summer at this school – ugh). Anyway, I think it went well, I felt really good about the lesson they asked me to write at the end, a writing lesson my specialty! Hopefully, I’ll hear either way by the end of the day since school starts in 2 days!! I’m not really sure how I feel about this particular job, I would start the year as a sub and then depending on enrollment, etc. it could go away or change or a number of different possibilities. I mean I’ll take it if I get it but things are would still be up in the air at first.

Beyond all that, with this job opportunity, I just feel like this is a transitional year for me. I think I want to move out by the end of the school year or before the next one starts. I’ve been feeling that way for a while lately, I’m just ready to be out of my parents house. I love spending time with them, but I’m just ready to move on, not to mention I’ve totally outgrown my childhood bedroom as far as space is concerned. :0) (My love of shopping and thrifting hasn’t really helped that problem either.) I don’t know if moving is the plan or not but it just sounds nice to have a change of scenery. I’ve been thinking about whether I would stay here or move further away and at this point each option has its Pros and Cons. Moving away would mean leaving my YL family and mentors, but I can always get plugged in with YL somewhere else and we would still keep in touch, and being away from family, and the school district I know, among other things…I still have a long time to think and pray over this whole idea but it’s been on my heart lately.

More than just moving though, I feel like changes are coming my way. I have no idea what but it seems that God’s been preparing my heart and I’m ready for whatever is ahead. When I was driving over to Kim’s last week I was listening to the radio and this Christian singer was on talking about his songs and he said a couple of different things that completely resonated with me.

Life is not a snapshot.

He was talking about how so often in life we only see a snapshot of what life really is and that there is a bigger picture that God can see and we just have to trust him with what we can see and the things that are out of sight.

If we can trust God with our eternity, we should be able to trust him with our now.

Ahhhh…exactly what I needed to hear :0)

So close…

It came down to two finalists…myself and another candidate. We taught a short lesson with six kids – which I was delighted to see when I walked in that 3 of the 6 were Kelsey, Piper, and Reese! How nice to have smiling, familiar faces! – I felt really, REALLY good about the lesson I taught and how I related to the kids.

An hour and a half later the call came and then there were the words you know can’t be good, “Well we really want to thank you for coming in to interview…” and the rest of the conversation is downhill from there. There was good feedback, and she said they offered it to the other person because she had more experience at the grade level. I  did hear good things from several people so overall it was a good experience, and I don’t feel the way I did after the interview before this…I’m proud of myself.

Strangely, I feel at peace…mostly. I am disappointed, and frustrated with this continual process of getting so close and then I don’t get the job. Michelle made a really good point when I was talking to her and I said that I just wish I didn’t get the call to interview if it’s not the job for me just leave it there…but then she reminded me that I want to be getting those calls because it means good things are out there about me, people know me and want to hire me, if I wasn’t getting called, that would be something to worry about…

Tomorrow is the last day in August, and then the count down is on until September 8 and the start of school. At this point I’m really expecting a year of subbing…and trying to focus on the upside of that. Learning from other teachers, getting my name out there, working with all sorts of different age groups, flexibility to not work a day if I don’t feel like it.

I feel exhausted, like I’ve been on a roller coaster but at the same time I know I’m going somewhere I’m not stuck on this eternal track of up and down. So maybe I’ve just been on a very long road trip through some windy, bumpy, rough patches but headed towards a glorious sunrise…God has a plan and I’m really relying on that. It’s hard to keep telling people I didn’t get the job, but none of them were my jobs. It’s still out there, and it may be another year or even more before I find it, but it’s out there somewhere. God knows where he’s taking me, I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

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P.S. My Young Life kids are the best, what a way to end this hectic day…love them

Jammed July

July passed by in a flash, and we’re already into August. whooo! After I finished house/farm-sitting, I took a weeklong class in Seattle on incorporating drama and theater into the classroom, it was a fabulous workshop and I learned a lot. Following that class, I headed off to eastern WA to do some camping with Beth and her family.

What a week, it was filled with non-plans, relaxing at the beach, drinking the most AMAZING iced mochas I’ve ever had, and just great fellowship with friends that are essentially part of my family. Flash forward 48 hours and I found myself in Malibu with a group of 9 high schoolers at camp.

Originally, I wasn’t supposed to go to camp this summer, another leader had been asked to go and since it was such a small group (4 girls) they only needed one leader. But due to family issues the other leader was unable to go and I was asked to go instead. Honestly, I was a little freaked when I found out that I was going. I’ve never led a group by myself and wasn’t quite sure what to expect.

Wow, does God provide and move in ways that are totally unexpected and needed. I had such a life-giving week at camp. I got to hang out with 9 of the coolest high school students I have ever met. We laughed, cried, shared, questioned, teased, pushed each other in the pool, ate LOTS of ice cream, hiked mountains, and ahhh just amazing. The whole week God provided me with the energy and strength I needed to get through each day. Even days when my boy crazy girls were starting to drive me a little crazy (did I mention that they tried desperately to set me up with a guy?).

I learned so much from them, and about myself, and what I can do when I truly hand it over to God. I know the week would have been completely different if I hadn’t lifted it up to Him. It’s really just ignited me, and although I’ve been slacking off on my daily quiet time since I got back from camp it’s something I’m eager to continue. Life is good, and even though things aren’t perfect, and I don’t have it figured out by any means, it’s good. God has provided and every moment is there for the taking, the living and learning.

P.S. I could go on and on about Malibu, but I’ll save that for another post :0)

Year One

It’s official, the count down to the last day of school is on and my first year of teaching is about to come to a close. It’s scary and sad, wonderful and exciting, hopeful and promising, uncertain and definite…

Who knew a year could go by so quickly? I have had the greatest pleasure of working with amazing fifth and sixth graders.  I am ending this year with as much new learning as they are (I hope!) it feels like yesterday I was trying to haphazardly piece together a classroom before the start of school. Now, I have to pack up my room the memories the books, the drawings students have made for me and begin the job search all over again.

It’s very much like packing up my dorm room at the end of each year. Feeling almost refreshed to have everything packed up and tidied but so sad to leave. I definitely feel like the last time I turn off the lights and leave my room tears will be spilling out of my eyes. It was mine for a year, they were mine for a year. As much stress and pain as the year has been filled with I really wouldn’t trade it, I wouldn’t trade a single trouble-making, class clowning student.

My first grown-up year. In the classroom at least, I’m no longer the student. But in life I’m still learning. This year has been hard…living at home without any social life to speak of – at least with people my own age. And that’s been hard.  Over the past two weeks, I was lucky to be able to spend some time with the lovely Kim and her husband. It made me realize how much I crave time with people who are my age, people who are close friends. It’s like I got a taste of what life used to be like, and I didnt’ really realize how much I missed it until it was gone.

But life is good, and I have been so blessed, God will provide in his way and in his time. I have to go finish some grading. More to come!