Ch-ch-changes

Lots has been going on since lease day! Beth got married!! It was a beautiful ceremony and a wonderful weekend. We have been living in the new house for about a week now, and most of it is all put together. We’re needing to get a few last things for the downstairs but it looks like a real house!

I started my part-time long-term subbing job on the first day of school, and it’s been busy and exhausting. We have 28 second graders and it is crowded! All the other classes are at overload as well so they are going to add a new second grade class. So there may be a job opening for me!

And…I have a job interview Thursday morning!!! For a continuing contract!! It’s a 4th/5th split classroom, and it sounds like I have a pretty good chance of getting it! I’m trying not to be overly hopeful but we’ll just have to wait and see what God’s plan is.

Lease Day!

Tonight we are signing the lease on the house! I am so excited for this whole move to officially get under way, I have boxes all over my childhood bedroom and still have some more packing to do today or in the next few days.

And on top of all that Beth’s wedding weekend starts tomorrow with a Mexican fiesta dinner! I have to finish packing for the wedding as well, and finish up some details on my toast for the rehearsal dinner. I’m trying not to stress over the toast but I’m a little nervous! She and I were texting this morning and she was like I’m really excited for the weekend but sad because it means I’m leaving you. Got me a little choked up, we’ve been friends for almost 25 years (our whole lives!) We’ve never lived in the same city and now chances are we never will. I’m not really nervous about her moving to Texas but it does make me sad.

The next few days are going to be totally crazy but also really fun, so looking forward to the wedding! And signing the lease! Eeee! :0)

Far and Near

So this past weekend I ventured down to Oregon to visit sister and then go apartment hunting. Friday I got to go to camp with her and hang out with her campers. It was a lot of fun I got to do some of he high elements up in the trees. So fun!

Saturday was apartment day, but things didn’t go so well. So here’s the short version of things: we were super late on the way to our first appointment, got very lost, then I go a parking ticket, we got lost again, drove around looking for parking for 20 minutes, and then things majorly fell apart…

We looked at one of sister’s friends apartments right off one of the busiest streets in downtown Portland, the exact opposite of where I pictured living. I told her this and she was not willing to compromise about the area sue wanted to live in so it came down to me deciding to give up what I want to live in Portland or to stick with my gut and say no. So I did.

And that brings me to this, I am officially not moving to Portland. Which was really a hard decision to come to but being in the city just didn’t feel right it didn’t feel like I fit there. And if I’m going to make a big life changing decision like that I want it to feel right.

It’s like when I was trying to decide what school I wanted to go to. I visited several schools and some felt okay, some not so great, but when I set foot on the campus that is now my alma mater I knew. It felt right, I knew that was where I was supposed to be. I’m not saying I need to have some magical happy feeling for every decision I make but in my gut I just knew it wasn’t the right choice for me.

So Saturday was rough and disappointing, and things with sister were filled with tension for the remainder of the weekend but things have definitely turned around for the next year.

I came home planning to find a place on my own nearby because I am done living in my little bedroom. So Dad and I drove around and even looked at a few places and we were feeling pretty good, we even found a great place and put my name on a waiting list.

The next day, I was meeting up with my fellow girl YL leaders for a little dinner and game night. They all wanted to know what was up with my life for next year, so I filled them in, and then Ashley suggested that I live with her and our mutual friend Laura. (Earlier this year, Ashley had mentioned that she and Laura had talked about living with me in case Portland didn’t work out.) Talk about a perfect opportunity! So I found myself two new roommates who also want a dog or maybe two. We are going to find a house together not too far from out hometown, and I am feeling so blessed about how things worked out. The girls had almost moved into a two bedroom place a few weeks ago but didn’t feel right about it, I’m totally feeling like this was a God thing and am so stinking excited about the adventure ahead!

Anxious Hope

Well, to say the least I’ve neglected my poor little bloggy blog for the past few months. Things just seem to have sort of snowballed out, well not necessarily out of control, but well out of control.

I don’t even exactly know where to start to catch everything up to speed. So here’s the short list with a few notes when necessary…

• School Life – stressful, full of pressure, and anxiousness over being the “perfect” teacher that the principal expects me to be
• My students – my saving grace at school, how I love all 22 of them each in their own way
• YL – still not quite settled, but very slowly getting a little better
• Tired of being home
• “Glee” – new addiction
• Missing friends
• Sister – home for Christmas=awesome, home last week=fabulous, back to Spokane today=sad
• Pixie hair cut
• iPod touch :0)

Okay, so things haven’t so much changed since I last wrote but I just feel so ready to move on from this stage of life. Ready to start something new. While the sister was home we were talking about moving together next year, to Portland.  She’s graduating and I’m ready for a new phase it seems like the right idea. And even though we can fight, we make up quickly and know what to expect of the other.

I just feel like I’m living in this stage of anxious hope, and not like the hope is anxious but that the pressure I feel from school is just compounding the hope I have about things for next year, making it stronger, making me realize how much I want this. Where I would like to be, God willing, and doing. A new city, a new season, in some ways I feel like a new stage of adulthood. I’ve been living at home since I graduated and while I do my own thing and spend a lot of time in my room and doing  my own thing, I’m ready to have some more distance from my roots. Not that being here is bad, but I’m young and I want a chance to spread my wings a little.

I know it’s silly but I’ve already started packing up my classroom in little bits. Nothing that the kids would notice, but last year I put it off and put it off because I so wanted to stay and what a change it is this year.

There are things that make me want to stay. My sweet parents, the crazy puppy, working with the play at SG, the familiarity of everything (I’m getting all teary just thinking about it), but I know it’s not enough to keep me here. And even if moving with sister doesn’t work out, I’m almost certain I’d move on my own. Scary as it would be I’m ready for something new.

(big sigh) So, that’s life for now.