Breakdown Here

Alright so two posts in one day, that doesn’t happen often with me especially not lately. I just found out the possible job opening at the school I’m currently subbing at, which I was hoping would be like a fallback if the interview Thursday morning doesn’t work out. Mom and I were on the phone and I totally lost it. I just feel a lot of pressure about the interview and it’s hard to feel relaxed about it. And everyone is like you’re such a great teacher, they’d be lucky to have you…which just builds up this pressure and if things don’t work out it makes it even harder. Goodness, I just need to go into this with a clear head and know that if it’s meant to be and part of God’s plan everything will work out. I hate interviews and this whole process. I’ll be glad when this is all over and hopefully there will be happy news!

Waiting Game

Well, this interview went better than the last one…at least that’s how I’m feeling right now. I spent quite a bit of time preparing and then it seemed like the potential questions I thought would be a sure thing at the interview were not included. Which is totally fine, and I felt fairly confident about what I said, but there’s always the doubting that comes after, and my mind racing as I feel like I’m rambling on to answer a question.

Now it’s time to wait it out…for the dreaded phone call,  the bottom of my stomach drops when I see a school number flash on my phone and don’t know what to expect. It seemed to end on a positive note, the interview that is I haven’t gotten a phone call yet.

There’s a possibility I’ll have to go back later this evening to teach a model lesson on shared reading with some kids – my LEAST favorite part of interviewing. It sounded like the committee was unsure if they were going to do this or not, but gahh…I hate this nervous feeling and wish I had something to distract myself, I can go make brownies for Summer Life tonight that will be a small distraction, but at least it’s something…

Praying for God’s will in this situation…and peace about whatever the outcome is.

Interview Round 2

Hallelujah, I finally heard – I have an interview for a half-time kindergarten job on Monday!

This all feels very deja-vu, last minute interview for a job I don’t know if I’m qualified for…but just because of those similarities I’m not counting it as THE job. Because it’s so close to the start of school it sounds like Monday is it, I should know sometime on Monday if I got the job or not…which makes me anxious and excited (especially that I don’t have to come back and teach a model lesson). 

I’m trusting God to lead me through this experience and if this is the right job things will work out and if not, then things will still work out.

So, prayer would be amazing and…I’m off to try to relax and learn as much about kindergarten as I can in the next two days!

Yes, Still More Butterflies

The interview was this morning. And in all honesty, I’m not quite sure how it went…I’m feeling nervous but trying to remember that it’s over and I can’t do anything about what I did or said now.  There wasn’t any major disaster but I’m still like “gahhh! I could have answered that question better, why did I ramble on, did I even answer the question that was asked…” Hindsight is always 20-20, although my mind is such a jumble right now that I don’t think I accurately remember what happened. 

What will be will be. It’s all in God’s hands, and I’ll find out how things went by the end of the day. Boy do I need a distraction…

Butterflies Part 2

I have to admit, I did go shopping yesterday in search of some on-sale designer jeans, luckily (or unluckily?) I didn’t find any I loved…but I did buy a new North Face jacket! The nerves have subsided and I’m feeling really at peace with whatever happens, and I’m hoping that will last until Wednesday morning – and possibly Thursday afternoon.

I’m really trying to just keep giving it up to God and keep myself busy, so I don’t start turning over “What If” situations in my head.

Summer Life tonight was great. I love my girls. They are amazing. I love how open and honest they are, and willing to share their lives with me and each other.

More to say, but tired and ready to sleep…night

Butterflies

After yesterday’s novel, this will be a short post. I have an interview for a job on Wednesday morning. The nerves are starting to kick in and I’m already trying to come up with ways to keep myself busy and not obsessing (that don’t all involve me going shopping for designer jeans), and coming up with all the possible interview scenarios.

Praying that God will guide me and give me peace.